Thankful...

First, some recent pictures of Halloween, Dolllface's birthday, and our visit with the Lunds...







And now, the latest news...

Kyle's employer is handing out another round of layoffs for the third time in 18 months. Once again, we'll find out for sure in January if he will keep his job. It's actually looking good, but nothing is 100% certain yet.

Dollface has been diagnosed with ADD, and we've started meds. It will take from two to four weeks to see any improvement. And yet, she just won second place in the UIL storytelling competition for her grade!

Little Man... well, he needs to pull his pants up. And he needs to stop picking on Sugarplum. But darn if those big blue eyes don't melt my heart every time I see them.

Sugarplum is managing to be her usual cheerful self despite her nasty cold and resulting "permasnot", as I call it.

I have a headache that's bordering near migraine level, and I'm close to wandering the nearest dark alley in search of someone in a trenchcoat to cure it.

But I'm thankful!

My life isn't perfect, due to choices I make and sometimes to things that fall in my lap. But I can't deny how blessed I am! I have family near and far that want the best in the world for me. I have a husband who loves me tremendously and couldn't be a better match for me. I have kids that are healthy enough to test my patience, then turn around and do something terribly sweet. I have a safe home for my family, even if the yard is full of dying weeds and I hate the sliding glass doors. I have trials that strengthen me, If I allow them to. And when things get too hard to handle, I have a Heavenly Father who I can turn to for peace.

More on the budget front...

I know, I'm beating a dead horse. We're on a budget, too much debt, wah wah wah, feel sorry for me... Well, actually, things are looking up. With a little finagling, the budget is loosening up. I'm actually seeing a wee bit more wiggle room. I won't be going on any shopping sprees, but I feel encouraged. A little inspired, even. As I told Kyle, it's still painful, but we've moved from, say, Loritab painful to generic Ibuprofen painful. I didn't expect to see a change this soon! I know without a doubt that paying tithing in cash has really helped, too.Those windows of heaven are opening up.

The most wonderful time of the year

Remember this commercial? I always sort of snickered at it, but I didn't have kids old enough to fully appreciate it. Now, I have a soon-to-be 2nd grader & pre-schooler who desperately need to see teachers and friends again... and I am a mommy who needs some fun alone time with her baby.
So, yes, I am one of those bad parents who looks forward to back to school. I feel no shame for it, either!

This summer has had its good moments, don't get me wrong. For instance, Dollface got her blackbelt! I'm so proud of my big girl. Another few years of honing her talent, and she'll be prepared for the dating years.



We've also found out a bit more about our big girl. After a year of counseling, and a visit with a behavioral pediatrician in Lubbock, we're facing either ADHD, or possibly a mood disorder (such as bipolar disorder). We'll have a confirmed diagnosis and treatment plan when we get more info from last year's teacher and her new teacher once they get to know each other. Her next appointment is in late October. I can see the light at the end of this tunnel now. We're finally headed in the best direction to help her.

Aaah, budgeting...

This budget stuff is challenging. I knew it would be. Why else would I have avoided it for 9 years? Now, I've always been a bargain hunter; that comes from my Mom. I get a high when I come across an amazing sale, bogo offer, etc... I feel smart. I've fought the system! Stuck it to the man! I've come to realize there are many generics that are just as good (and sometimes better) than name brands. I've also come to realize, unfortunately, that there are a few items it's just best not to compromise on... either get the good stuff, or go without. Tomatoes, for one. I'd rather spend the $2 a lb. on the greenhouse ones than 79 cents on those huge, hard, grainy pink ones that belong on fast food hamburgers. Another product I now know I can't compromise on are hot dogs.
What? you laugh. Hot dogs? All they are is (to quote an old classmate) 'regurgitated pig parts'. Slap some mustard on 'em, and there you go. A hot dog's a hot dog! But no! If you like hot dogs enough to buy them, and you've never had a Hebrew National... well, you have no clue what you've been missing! They are wonderful. They are all Kosher beef. Blessed by Rabbi's or something. Heavenly. Divine, I say! And they cost anywhere from twice to five times as much as most other brands. About the same as a pound of lean ground beef. So I told myself, hey, I can cut back here. I'll buy cheap hot dogs for a while. Got some turkey ones; less fat and less expensive. I took one bite... and wanted to run screaming, throwing the offending morsel as far from myself and my family as possible.
I now have a choice to make. Good hot dogs, or NO hot dogs. Bottom line. As God is my witness, I'll never buy cheap hot dogs again!

Shaving heads, check... drinking Kool-Aid, check...

Don't worry, we haven't joined a cult. Well, not a bad one, anyway. We just started our Total Money Makeover with Dave Ramsey. Kyle bought said book a few months ago, and he thumbed through it a bit, and I just avoided it alltogether. Then I started reading it.
:::Sidenote::: Those who know me understand it's a miracle if I read for Book Club each month, and I'm doing good if I got halfway through it. At this point in my life, my lack of reading truly is due to lack of time. But I didn't enjoy reading until my late 20's (thank you J.K. Rowling, my own personal Annie Sullivan in that respect) There, I said it. I was reigning Cliff Notes Queen from 7th grade to HS graduation. So sue me.
Back to "Uncle Dave"... I'm devouring said book, and can't wait to go medieval on our debt! If you want to look into it, go to his website, and look for the Financial Reality Check, and try out the Gazelle Budget Lite (a basic, quick-and-dirty free budgeting tool).
I know the Church has always warned us about debt. The problem is, once you realize how badly you're in the middle of it, it feels pretty hopeless. Faith and prayer will point you in the right direction, no doubt. Then you have to ACT. We're finally at that point, and it's scary, depressing... and yet exciting and hopeful, too. Join me! Shave your head! Drink the Kool-Aid!

I am so smart!

In the words of Homer Simpson, I am so smart! Ha! I'm so proud to have come up with this all on my own! I used sidewalk chalk to draw lines where Little Man is allowed to ride his trike. He's totally getting into it, too... he sees a line coming and says. "STOP!" and turns right around. Hope it lasts!

Distractions vs. reminiscing

Facebook. Remodeling. Migraines from oil paint used in remodeling. Facebook. End of school year craziness. Upheaval of ownership and instructors at taekwondo (for Brylea). Facebook. Illness. And did I mention, Facebook? These are the reasons I've gotten behind on this blog. That, and for some reason, each time I've tried to post pictures, something fouls up and I can't.

I truly can't believe the number of people from my past I've reconnected with. Old roomies, guys I used to date, high school band comrades (including one of my band directors), friends from previous churches attended. It really is fascinating to see where people are nowadays. Some took similar paths to mine, others hit a few detours, and still some others who headed in directions I myself would never be... yet they are all important to me in some way. They are all people who mean something to me, and I really do look fondly on all the good times we enjoyed. Most of all, they are all children of the same God as I (whether they believe it or not!) and it's good to see them happy, thriving, enjoying life.

RSVP to my pity party!

Well, I have good news and bad news. The good news is, I've been correctly diagnosed and am being treated for Interstitial Cystitis (IC), having suffered from it since the early nineties. The bad news? It totally sucks, you will probably have that TMI feeling after reading this, and there's no cure.
Long story short, IC's effects are similar to acid reflux, only in the bladder... wearing away of the mucous membrane to the point of ulcers. Lovely, no? They can be treated (but not repaired or even healed) with 'instills', flushing the bladder with a sodium bicarb/lidocaine/heparin solution with a catheter from time to time, and with an oral medication that may or may not make my hair fall out. And a diet. Now, I don't mean I stop eating one or two risky foods. I mean anything spicy, oniony, tangy (acidic), caffeinated, carbonated, or cooked with soy sauce... and my favorite, chocolate (unless it's white, which isn't even chocolate, folks). Fruit? I can have blueberries and melons (other than cantaloupes), and pretty much nothing else. Anything high in potassium aggravates it, too... bananas, tomatoes. The diet guide says to avoid Mexican, Indian, Chinese and Thai food. I am quite adventurous in matters of food, and I love sampling and cooking all sorts of ethnic cuisine. And now, I'm allowed little to no fun in my tummy. I'll be honest... when I first saw the IC diet, my reaction was something colorful that I won't repeat here. While I've gotten over the initial shock, my attitude has not changed, and neither has my diet.
Now, I know I will get through this. I know that everyone has struggles, and there are worse struggles than mine. I know I am blessed, and I know adversity makes me stronger. But right now, won't you throw a handful of confetti and wear a sparkly pointy hat for my own personal pity party?

I'd like to thank the academy...

...as I sheepishly accept my 3rd worst mom ever award. That's right, folks... I'm just above the Octomom and Joan Crawford. I took my daughter to school late for the second day in a row, and I signed her in wearing my tattered flannel jammie bottoms and a paint stained t-shirt. And as I'm typing this, my boy is watching the second Nickjr. program of what I'm sure will be several, and my youngest is screeching from the highchair. And my house, which was as close to immaculate as I've ever had it days ago, is quickly nearing the post tornado appearance yet again. And today, my husband and I have been lovingly putting up with each other for 9 years?
I have to say, this is not a moment I could foresee all those years ago. But still, I feel blessed with my life. I don't have all the things I once thought I would by now, yet I have so much more than I need. Life's pretty good.

When it rains...

What a week. And I mean that with all my heart.
First, I take Dollface to the doctor for a sinus infection. Poor kid. Which of course means there's been more whining than usual around here. That night, Sugarplum wakes up with scary coughing and wheezing; I take her to the doc the next day, and she tests positive for RSV. Within a day, we all start coughing to some degree. All this time, Little Man is super tired, whiney, and not eating much at all (no, really; less than usual). I figure he's got some of the same crud as the rest of us, and concentrate more on the girls and hubby, who's coughing his ruddy head off.
Friday, Sugarplum's birthday, Kyle picks up a cake from the grocery store, which tastes surprisingly good, but not what I wanted to do for my baby's first birthday. I had plans. Big plans. Homemade cake, fondant, sparkly pink plans. But I just was not up to it.
We figure the kids are getting better, and we're all sick of each other, so we get out of the house for a while on Saturday. We come home around 8pm, and Little Man is crashed, so we put him straight to bed before we bathe the girls. Just before 4 am, Little Man comes and asks to sleep in my bed, so I grudgingly roll over and tell him 'just for a minute'. Then I pat his arm. Wow, he's a little warm. Pat the head. Holy cow, he's burning up. Even his little feet were just on fire! I check his temp... 104. I call our 24 hour nurse line. She asks if there are any other symptoms, I mention Sugarplum's RSV, and then I remember that earlier that day, he cried when he peed. She says, "Well, sometimes kids this age say things, but with that and the fever, you could take him to the ER."
We get there, and he's running around, throwing his little car, spinning on the doctor's stool, squeezing the blood pressure thing... all sorts of cavorting typical of a normal, silly 3 year old boy. Then, just after I call my husband and say I think I jumped the gun and oh great, another ER bill... the doc comes back. Turns out he has a KIDNEY INFECTION. Scary. Really scary; but even more so because this is so uncommon in children, particularly boys. So, we have to do a follow up with his regular Ped, plus a urological exam. I'm not sure what that entails, but I'm guessing a cathether at some point, along with a road trip of some length, since I'm pretty sure there's no pediatric urologist in Midland. My poor sweet baboo!
Needless to say, we did not make it to church this morning. Kyle keeps saying, Are we bad parents? A kidney infection. I feel like we're bad parents somehow. Even though we both know there's no way we're to blame, I can't help but share his feelings.
If you got his far, thanks for reading. I really needed to whine publicly.

I love my kids!

Ok, that's kind of a 'duh' title. But I really do. Just because. I had to post these pictures.




I took this of Sugarplum yesterday. Did you ever see such a sweet smile on a baby that's sick as a dog with RSV?









And this one, well, Dollface and Little Man had such spectacular bedhead this morning, I had to document it.






I'll have to remember these moments the next time I find skidmarked Batman underwear and tiny stick-on craft jewels stuck to the carpet.

Sick chicken

When I was sick as a kid, my mom would cuddle me and say, "My poor sick chicken!"  I have no idea the significance of it, but... I have a poor sick chicken!  Dollface has woken up with what I suspect is strep throat for the third time in about 6 months, I think.  I feel so bad for her.  I also feel bad for me, because I have two other children to take care of, and I have to call a friend on her birthday and re neg on watching her little one so she could attend a funeral, and a house where laundry and dishes are competing in a how-tall-can-they-get contest, and a hubby who's out of town at the moment.  And is that a tickle in my throat, too, or is it just the power of suggestion and my own little pity party? "Debbie Downer" (a term I wish I'd coined myself, Gillian) has reared her ugly head here today.

I'm reminded of an email I've received occasionally... I'm sure you've seen it, something to the effect of, I'm grateful I'm so busy, because it means I'm needed; I'm grateful for that leaky faucet because it means I have a roof over my head; etc.  I truly am blessed.  I have 3 great kids.  I have good friends who know they can (usually!) depend on me.  I  have a roof over my head in this cold weather.  I am very much needed.  I have a wonderful husband who's working hard in a job he's less than pleased with to support us all... which also brings me to the excellent (not universal!) health care I have in case of times when one or more of us is under the weather.  I really do have it good.

I gotta go hug my sick chicken now (and then use some hand sanitizer).

No pictures, please..

Ok, I am the blogger of this blog, and I've yet to post pictures of myself.  There are two reasons for this... one, the weight gain from 3 pregnancies have made me a less than willing subject. Call it vanity, shame, whatever. Two, I'd rather look at pictures of my kids than myself.  Then again, recording history, for the sake of posterity, blah blah blah... so ok, here are two recent shots of me.  One with Sugarplum, the other with my sister.  Deep breath.  There, that wasn't too painful after all.

family in waiting...

It's now 1:29 pm.  Any minute, my husband will get a phone call letting him know whether or not he is laid off.  His partner was laid off in June, and we were safe for the time being, but knew more layoffs were coming in the future. I have a flood of mixed feelings at the moment.  Our time here has been wonderful, and it would be sad to leave.  But before we came here, we said this would be our stepping stone; the foot-in-the-door, being his first job out of college.  The gateway to bigger and better things! I didn't plan on making such great friends and actually loving the community.  I didn't know how attached I would be my church family.  It's great to tell someone, "I'll be there in 5 minutes," and really get there in 5 minutes (well, 7 or 8 if there's traffic).  I never imagined tumbleweeds and dust and flat land and stinky tap water would feel so much like home...

Alright, when will that darn phone ring, already?  

Well, it's now 1:39 and hubby's just informed me that he's still employed.  I can breathe again! Guess we're here a bit longer, so far.

My son , the fairy?? Uh oh...

I had to record this before I forgot...  Dollface was a fairy last Halloween.  Here she is with her friend, also a fairy (and no prior planning).

So a couple days ago I found Little Man, wearing her wings, jumping from the chair to the ottoman, attempting to fly.  I can't wait to show this to his girlfriend when he's 16!

Day 11 of diet

I'm proud to report that my spare tire is reduced to that of a Smart Car.  (Given the name, those things sure look stupid).  My fat pants fit, and I've got 4 to 6 weeks of my diet to go!  Yay!